mermaid...

Something totally unrelated: I like rain.
Teehee.. There's a storm coming up and I know I shouldn't like this because typhoons do devastate communities... But dontcha just love the gray skies and strong wind. Since i'm ip here on the sixteenth floor, the wind is especially fierce... Its been whistling all morning. Oh i remember my first night in Gabaldon (for GK), the wind was screaming outside our adoptive nanay's humble abode. It was dark and cold and you could easily imagine a mananangal or something outside the house. Ooh.. It was great..
Haah.... People do fall in love with the Gabaldon nighttime sky. I mean it was so pretty. One night during our one week youthbuild we were all sprawled on the stage and we just stared at the sky. So many stars, so many stars... I spotted around ten shooting stars (wohoo)... And when I came back to quezon, I'd be lucky to spot ten stars...
... sigh... There was a build this weekend and I didn't want to go because I didn't have anyone with me... I kinda miss the bunch there...
... and the sky, you just got to love the sky.

those are the kids dancing for the program... sheesh, i only gotta publish a few pictures here... i'll go on and make a multiply site. :)

people working really hard. and that's me holding two halo-halos (haha!)

that's us... ate marj is pointing at a rainbow..

some of the kids from kalayaan village

my february

I haven't been blogging for the longest time, sorry Queen... :(

January was my hell month. February was supposed to be I-don't-really-care-about-these-damn-academic-requirements-mood. But I struggled to care and not lapse into that deadly mood which definitely spells doom to my subjects (So what? I'd say then... and then panic panic panic in the wake of the mood). I've been neglectful of most requirements, including this one. So there... :(
Anyway, what have I been doing back in the good 'ol month of lovin? Lots of catching up, lots of mediocre work, blah. Nothing worth sharing, except of course, Gawad Kalinga.

I've spent three out of four February weekeneds in Nueva Ecija (yey!) Gawad Kalinga (In Flipino, "Kalinga" is Care and "Gawad" is...uhh "group" I think) Anyway, its an organization here in the Philippines. Volunteers get to build houses for our dear unfortunate countrymen. Well, my roomies (hereafter called Burgundy girls) volunteered in Kalayaan Village in Gabaldon, Nueva Ecija. Most of the recipients of houses were victims of the landslide last year (Had not someone told me there was a tragic landslide last year, I would've remained ignorant. Hah, that's Up To Date for you!)
Oh, I was fun. Met people. Bonded with the Burgundy Girls. Built Houses. Taking baths has never been more fun (in a STREAM! :)) of course, there are the bigger nameless things.. Maybe I'll get too sappy if i elaborate on them.

Anyway, the last time I went there (which was the last weekend of Feb). My parents mildly dissuaded me from coming (but who's to stop me ?! HAha!). There were a lot of political turmoil going on. There was a coup de etat, and ralleys were abound (Suprise! Not really.) People wanted the president off Malacanang. Blah, blah. Same old predictable Philippine politics. I was pretty annoyed with all the bullshit people are talking about in TV. I mean, seriously, after the first five minutes of news I involuntarily tune out (I think, "Yeah, yeah. Got the point. Philippines is still plummeting to political hell). And I was pissed because I felt the rallyists were desecrating EDSA Revolution 1, that day marked the 20th year anniversary.
But I wasn't really angry that day, I was ecstatic. It coincided with Gawad Kalinga's Isang Milyong Bayani Rally (One Million Heroes Rally).

I was hoping that the ideals would juxtapose...

Philippine politics has always been the dirty finger pointing to another dirty finger. Nobody wants to take responsibility. People blame and blame and blame. People want to overthrow, overthrow, overthrow. But then Gawad Kalinga doesn't destroy or topple anything down. Gawad Kalinga builds. Not only houses are propped up, but hope is restored and relationships between people are strengthened.

The experience is too big to be contained in a single blog entry. and I'm no longer making promises of "I'll get back to you on that". anyway, I'm just going to pelt my blog with pictures.

no point

I took this picture today. I borrowed my mother's digicam, and I ran amok in the cemetery. (click click click). (Maybe, just maybe you'll see an influx of pictures here... picture à gogo!)

We're doing a reporting in Filipino. Topic: Ghosts. We've decided to make the introduction something about death and its mystery (do a part of us survive after death.. blah blah.. the likes) and i got a little too carried away... hehe... I already took pictures of dead dried roses (we got lots of them) and then I edited it to look like it's fresh and red and it turns brown and dead (romanticism is dead. even roses rot. ) and I'm thinking the voice over says something about just as sure as red roses will rot, the body will also. everything in the world is temporal, everything withers.

I can just picture myself happily doing the editing... I don't mind not getting any sleep if I enjoy what I'm doing. (It matters though, if its 3 am and I'm reading ghost stories for research.)

oh, yeah. and thanks also to my little brother who had this first starring role in our 'documentary'. (snicker. snicker.) Famewhore that he is, his acting will soon be revealed to the world, i.e. my Filipino class. ( I might just post a picture of his 'scared' look')

oh yeah, Hi to Tita Edna, Tita Eva, Tita Marian, Tita Mayet and everybody in Canada and beyond.

hell week?

Isn't life just grand?
nope.

You know what's nice about about Hell Week? It only lasts a week. Last week was a hell week. This week is a hell week. Next week will be a hell week.From there on, I'm not sure if it'll finally become a hell month. Maybe a hell from this point in life and hereafter?
There was a point in this week that I felt like I'm slowly recovering from the utter stress that cripple me. But no, things just had to take a turn for the worst.
Take today for example:
This morning (2.30 am) Two of my flatmates and I went down to print some things we needed for school, that thanks to my printer running out of black ink. We hung out in 711 until 4 am comes and we discover that (gasp) nobody had keys to the unit! We rang the doorbell, banged on the door and we still couldn't rouse from sleep our three other flatmates. We slept on the corridor, or at least I tried to sleep. and I went to the creepy lobby bathroom around three times because I felt like peeing every hour or so. Worst part of it is, I had a midterm exam for Poetry 8.30 am and I have NOT studied anything at that point. It was 6.30 when we finally managed to wake someone from our unit up. I cut my 7.30 class to try and study for the midterm exam.
Picture me then: I haven't slept a wink. I feel like peeing every hour or so. My stomach felt weird, thanks to hunger and mild diarrhea. I have not started studying for an exam.

Thanks, life, just thanks.

So there I was after the midterm exam, I'm finally regaining some amount of control back when I found out that I lost my ticket for tomorrow's play. Holy macaroni. That was just the final blow. I ain't bitching anymore, or ranting. I'm just plain tired. Tired to even scream anymore. Tired. Tired. Tired. I need a long and relaxing break.
Please, life? gimme a break?

the vtech that never came

People are getting older, friends are turning eighteen everywhere. I'm on the threshold of adulthood. How have i lived my life?
When i was younger, I was drooled for a V-Tech, you know the laptop for kids. Now that I have a laptop i can die happier, but i digress. One Christmas, I was particularly hoping for a V-Tech. I caught glimpse of a huge wrapped box lying around the house. Naturally, I assumed my pleas have finally been answered. I was happy for a couple of days, till Christmas eve came. The bright, happily wrapped Christmas present didn't contain a V-Tech, and instead an extremely dull electric fan-- which wasn't even meant for me. I went to my room and cried, and told no one. Right then and there I learned that life is to be lived without expectations. No expectations.
And I have been living my life that way since. That's why I'm quite detached. I don't look. I don't dwell.
Older and hopefully a little wiser, I knew it to be flawed. I see this glaring irregularity that have protected me from supreme disappointments. The wisdom Siddharta Gautama realized-- that the middle way is the way-- meant nothing if he hadn't experienced the extremes. There is no way to live life other than to indulge in experience. I knew it. I know it. and that's just it, I just know it, and have never make a move to change my disposition.
Maybe I should start caring.
I bet i don't make sense.haha


Ew, i'm so serious. Is old age finally getting to me? haha...